![free time takes priority over committed time. free time takes priority over committed time.](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0233/9417/files/EDENKidsGroup-cropped15624-June2015_medium.png)
![free time takes priority over committed time. free time takes priority over committed time.](https://snapflashphoto.zenfolio.com/img/s/v-10/p37530976-5.jpg)
What do you want out of your relationship in terms of spending time with your boyfriend?Īnd how will this change as your relationship goes on – will you want to spend increasing amounts of time as a couple? How much time would you like to spend together? He might just see it as a nice thing to have, but not so important that he wants to change his whole life for it. Perhaps he just doesn’t value your relationship – or any relationship – enough to make the effort. If your boyfriend has had several short-ish relationships and most were ended by the other person, you have to ask yourself why. Some people like the idea of being in a relationship, but don’t want to put in the hard work required to keep them going. If you’ve talked about exes, do you know why his past relationships ended? Did he break things off or did the other person? If he can be himself and not feel the need to fill every moment together with conversation or an activity, he will be able to spend more time with you without running out of batteries. This can change over time as he gets more comfortable around you. He may simply not feel able to spend loads of time with you because it tires him out. Introverts get drained quickly when spending time with other people. If your boyfriend seems to spend more time alone than with you or his friends, you are probably dealing with quite an introverted guy. If you’ll work around his life, he doesn’t have to make specific time for you in his schedule. The problem is, if he knows that you’ll always be an option, he won’t feel the need to make you a priority. There’s never any need to plan in advance because you’ll drop whatever you’re doing to make space for him in your diary. It says to your boyfriend that you will always be ready and waiting for him should he want to see you.
![free time takes priority over committed time. free time takes priority over committed time.](https://user-images.githubusercontent.com/51070104/172672843-8c40a801-3438-4e9c-86db-38a34191fbdf.png)
Whilst this may be a natural reaction for someone who already feels like they don’t spend enough quality time with their partner, it can send a very clear message. When your boyfriend wants to see you, do you say yes straight away to whatever plans he wants to make? He may not make you feel like the priority you would like to be in his life. Right now he may see your relationship as a nice thing to have, but not something to dedicate too much time and energy to. If so, he might not see the need to commit as much time as you’d like to the relationship. He may think that you are happy just seeing how things develop without rushing into anything big like living together, marriage, or children. He might not realize how serious your commitment really is. Have you sat down with your boyfriend and had ‘the chat’ about where you both see the relationship going? If not, you should. Perhaps he doesn’t want to admit how much he is struggling or ask for help, and so he just withdraws and makes less of an effort to see you. If your boyfriend doesn’t have any time for you, is he just struggling to keep his head above water in other parts of his life? It’s not ideal, but it happens more than you might think. Work, college, and family troubles are among the things that can consume our every waking thought. Is he stressed or overloaded in other areas of his life?